* Dreams *

Looking back on that event in October of 2009, I still shudder and cannot believe it actually happened; it felt as though I was living a nightmare, but then was suddenly released and felt carefree for a short time. I can't believe it was actually reality...

Running out into the darkened living room, I let the tears of fright fall from my eyes as I embraced the solitude. I was scared for my safety; I had told my sister the small piece of information that had made her confront the one person who had managed to make my life terror. And now my sister was leaving, leaving me and my little brothers here alone. I was simply a weak, petite, shy girl.... the terror washed over me more fully and my stomach sunk further into the black hole consuming my happiness as I realized that there would be nothing I could do to protect my brothers--and myself--should something happen. The stress and horror gripped me in its icy grasp and threatened to strangle me to death. I attempted to swallow the knots in my throat and walked out wiping the salt water off of my cheeks. Upon seeing me, my sister immediately asked if I had been harmed. Shaking my head, my bottom lip quivered and my stomach lurched around in rough back flips in my abdomen. Uttering out my fears, the tears began flowing more freely and I chewed on my tongue in an attempt to calm myself. After dragging me back out to the dark living room for some privacy, my sister dialed the number of my neighbors and asked if we could spend the night there, as she would be at a friend’s house. I remember the terror gripping me and threatening to pull me under as I tip toed through the hallways to find my brothers, and pulling on my hood whispered for them to follow. The creaking of the door as we walked outside pierced my ears and made my stomach drop; these sounds were betraying us and bringing the possible doom. Escaping through the dark yard I looked at the lights ahead, and allowed myself to dare to hope for safety once we reached the light at the end of the darkness....

* Journal 3 ~ Readers & Writers *

Reading and writing has been an extensive part of my life for as long as I can remember. As a young child, I loved to read, and did so every day. It offered me an escape from this world into another world where I did not have any problems; bringing me relief and security. It offered me sanctum, as it continues to do to this day, and I honestly cannot say which book--out of the hundreds I have read--is the best, I love/have loved so many!

My interests and favorite books shifted constantly, changing which books I enjoyed most at the time. When I was really young, I earnestly enjoyed 'The Magic Tree House' series by Mary Pope Osborne, and would read several of them a day. Not long after I discovered the 'Nancy Drew' books by Carolyn Keene, and to say I loved them would be an understatement! I became obsessed with mysteries, and even considered becoming a detective when I grew up; with a light blue convertible of course!

In the next few years my dominant interest shifted from mystery to suspense, focusing mainly around ghost stories; I loved books that would keep me on the edge of my seat with fear. Shortly after, I discovered the 'Inkheart' trilogy (which, at the time, was the Twilight of books, everyone loved it) and that remained top on my favorites list, until I discovered Twilight. I loved the entire franchise until I realized how ridiculous the hype floating around in the air was, and slowly fell out of "Twilighter" status (however I do still enjoy the novels occasionally).

Since then I have discovered many books I love, however there are two that I continue to read repeatedly. The first of these is 'Scribbler of Dreams' by Mary E. Pearson. This book keeps me intrigued and involved in the story every time I read it, sucking me in without fail. I get caught up in the romance, the suspense, the intrigue. It slightly resembles a modern day 'Romeo and Juliet' and will keep you caught in its papery grasp until long after you finish reading it.

The second one of these is 'The Secret Journal of Brett Colton' by Kay Lynn Mangum. This novel has such a captivating story line; not only are you flipping each page, itching to discover what will happen next with Kathy, but you are also following along with her deceased brother Brett's life. Two different stories cooperating with each other to keep you on a journey; with all the different story lines going on at once, you are enthralled on each and every page. I read this novel to my Grandma this summer, who is extremely ill, and during every second of it the novel held her attention without falter, showing to me that it is for everyone.

Currently I struggle finding time to read, which to be honest, depresses me. I love reading, and I ache to do so more often! I recently started 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne Collins, but I have not made much progress in it. Meaning, it's too early for me to say what I think of it yet, as I am only on the first chapter. Although I have heard from everyone--including my orthopedic doctor--that it is amazing! Due to the amazing reviews I cannot wait to read more.

In conjunction with my passion for reading, I have always loved to write. I still find notebooks lying around my house with little short stories I had jotted down; many of those mystery (because of my passion for Nancy Drew). I still love to write, however I struggle putting what's in my head down on paper. I attempt writing novels based on interesting dreams I have, or experiences I have in my life, however they always lose their flare in the transition from my mind to my hand.

I strive to keep a journal, however that isn't anything spectacular or novel worthy, simply just my thoughts. I do blog as well, however these blogs (one for my Digital Photography class, my personal blog, and my English blog) are not my best writing, simply reporting on things in my life. (However my English blog could be considered good writing, I suppose...)

Despite my best efforts, I seem to be unable to start a novel and finish it, no matter how vividly I am able to picture it in my mind. Who knows, perhaps my writing will improve this year!

* Journal 2 - Beliefs *

"...write a top 10 list of the things that you believe with you all your heart and soul."

First thing, I would like to point out that these are in no specific order. So without further ado, belief number one.

#1: Music Has a Profound Effect on Us

I believe that music can strongly inluence our emotions and feelings. For example, there are many songs that, no matter my current state, whether it be horribly depressed or scarily furious, they always help to lighten my mood and put a smile on my face. While, on the other hand, there are some songs that are able lower my mood, either to sadness, or to anger. Others can move me to tears, and others have no effect on me whatsoever. I believe that a part of that is, subconsciously we have memories attached to the songs, or we make a connection with it, stimulating our emotional reaction.

#2. True Love DOES Exist
"Wuv... Twue Wuv" -'The Princess Bride'

Despite the beliefs of some skeptics close to me, there is no doubt in my mind that True Love not only exists, but is out there for each and every one of us. I have seen true love with my own eyes, and I have felt what it is like to be in the presence of two people completely and utterly in love. I know that true love is as real as my beating heart! Why would we be given the ability to love, and the ability to accept love, if love did not exist? I feel it appropriate to share one of my favorite quotes: "We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else, for us to find."

#3. Mushrooms Are Nothing More Than Revolting Fungus

Mushroom: a green and brown, slimy, gag-inducing, fungus.
Mushrooms are one of the most disgusting 'foods' in existence! I do not know who it was who first had the 'brilliant' idea to use a Hog to snort for Truffles in the ground, and then eat them, but I believe they had serious problems. As well as the person who first decided to snip a fungus out of a grove of trees, and then eat it. Mushrooms are mushy slime, and should NOT be considered a food. And, in my opinion, a FUNGUS (not food) that is not only used for food, but can also be an extremely dangerous drug, is harmful in every possible way.

#4. Food is Delicious

Absolutely, positively! Food is the substance of life, the miracle of the earth. However, it is not limited to a requirement for survival, but is also a delectible way to keep ourselves happy and take some pleasure. Did you know that "comfort food", "stress eating" and other things of that sort, are actually factual? We posses a gland called the Hypothalamus Gland. This gland controls our emotions and behavior, and is also used for (among other functions) appetite and digestion. So basically, when we please the Hypothalamus, we in turn please ourselves because it controls our emotions. A happy stomach = a happy you.

#5. If You Respect Yourself, Others will Respect You As Well

How many times a day do you witness a girl who has lowered her standards, and does not respect herself? You see people plastered with tattoos, sporting so many piercings they look like a human pin cushion, wearing clothing that does not leave much up to the imagination, and many other sad truths, daily. You can tell, plain as their body modifications, that they do not have enough respect for themselves to refrain from participating in these activities, and because of this, other people do not respect them either. However, when you see a girl who has standards, and is not afraid of hiding them, they receive so much more respect! A girl who wears modest clothing, and has not violated her own body, can be seen as someone worth respecting. I suppose the question you need to ask yourself is, how much respect do you desire?

#6. Love is Necessary for Survival

I adamently believe that love is absolutely necessary for our survival! As you can see here, in this article, infants who are denied love and attention eventually begin to stop growing, and even end up dying. This same, depressing, concept also applies to comatose patients; those who recieve loving touch from people close to them, recover incredbily sooner than those who do not. However, you don't need to be an infant or in a coma to need love. Every human being not only requires love, but they deserve love. Look at suicide victims; a vast majority of people who commit this deadly act did so because they felt alone and unloved. That is so, very, horribly WRONG! I believe it is a basic right for everyone to have love in their life. Who are we to deny them this right?

#7. Everyone is Entitled to Their Own Beleifs

While I may personally feel that my beliefs are the correct ones, I also acknowledge and respect that other people have their own beliefs. Even if I do not respect, support, or agree with them, I support the person for believing in things that are important to them. If we were to all believe the same thing as one person, we would lose our sense of individuality. We would be like a herd of sheep, mindlessly following one person. That is no life.

#8. Knees Are Essential

Your knees, while they may seem insignificant, are absolutely vital! I know and believe this. I have experienced two knee dislocations and two knee surgeries (one on each leg). You don't realize how much of a neccessety they are until you lose them, and you cannot imagine the pain involved. If you lose your knees, you lose basic joys in your life. Here are several pictures from after my second knee surgery:

The Brace and Wrappings After Surgery

Directly After Having the Stitches Removed

#9. Friendship is One of the Best Parts of Life

Without friends around, who are you going to act stupid with and have a complete blast at the same time? Friends are there when you're on top of the world, and when the weight of it is pushing on you. However, not only are they there, they are right under with with you, helping you hold it up. I strongly believe that friendship is one of the greatest gifts you can ever receive.

Friends = Love

(Photo Credit to Abagael Dalton)

#10. You Should Always Stand Up For What You Believe In

Doing so will result in people respecting you and your beliefs. If you believe in something, you should always stand up for it, no matter what the consequences may be. (However, if you believe someone you love doesn't look good, you don't need to stand up for that necessarily) Everyone around you will see that you know what you believe, and you will not be pushed around.

#11. Boys Are Sexy

That's pretty much it.

.....well, most boys. ;)

* Journal 1 - Friendship *

I can honestly say that Friendship is one of the greatest blessings that I have in my life! Without it, I cannot even stand to think of where I would be right now. My friends and family are my most prized possessions, and often those two groups are combined. Family becomes friends, and friends become family. I cannot say that I can put my trust in ALL my friends completely, but I can definitely say that I am able to with my closest and dearest friends.
~
One of my dearest friendships is with my neighbors, they are my second family! They moved in the summer before I started 5th grade, and we were friends right off the bat. However, the relationship took time to grow into something true and unbreakable. It took three years for me to feel that I could trust them with my LIFE! I came to this realization because they had shown me they were trustworthy. They were (are) always there for me, never turned me away, listened to what I had to say without judgment, and just honestly cared about me and my feelings! Most of all... they loved me and I loved them.

I know that they would keep a secret if I told them; because they have kept every secret I have ever told them without a second thought. I know that I could hand them 1 million dollars without a doubt that they would keep it safe for me. I would trust them with anything and everything, and I would never question them (or myself).
~
This kind of friendship does not happen overnight. It takes time to earn trust, and to see that someone is trustworthy. Without trust, there can be NO relationship. How can you love someone if you are always waiting for them to do something to hurt you? When you truly trust someone, they become a friend.

Being trustworthy is just as important as having a trustworthy friend. If you tell a "friend" one thing and then go and do another, they aren't going to trust you, and will soon leave you. You can't just say the right things; you need to MEAN them as well.

Trust is a fragile thing, and once lost is nearly impossible to regain.

* #1 Yipppeee *

YEP! My first post on this blog! YAY hehe. Anyways, I made this blog because I like blogger SOOOO much better than the blogs that we have for OHSU, so I'm going to do my blog posts for English in this blog instead of that one! WHOOO(: